Zachary S, déc. 2017
I embark on tours in Mexico with a certain reduced expectation, as I have been on many. Generally, the equipment is a little run down, the workers are busting their humps to keep the equipment running, and the experience isn't all it is purported to be by the glossy brochures. This tour, however, is the bottom of the barrel. In fact, it was so bad, it was comical, and my son and I laughed pretty much the whole time, which, conversely, actually may have made the tour worth it from sheer ridiculousness. Let me expand.
My son and I arrived early, so had a chance to inspect a broken machine in the parking lot prior to departure. I walked around the unit with him, pointing out all of the unsafe features, and postulating as to which particular feature prevented this unit from being used in the prior tour. Was it the missing gas pedal? The broken shocks? The rusted out floorpan? The missing air cleaner on the exposed carb? Maybe the wiring that was mysteriously hanging from the ignition coil? The broken seatbelt? Missing blinkers? Imagine my surprise when a worker jumped into the vehicle and drove off down the road... I assumed to the junkyard perhaps.
Shockingly, a virtually identical vehicle showed up for our tour. Broken components everywhere, wiring hanging askew, holes in the floorboards, and just a general state of disrepair. I described it to my son as such: This vehicle, when new, was probably worth about 8 or 9 thousand dollars. In this state of repair, it's probably worth about 500 dollars. As they are renting it for 170 bucks for every two passengers, and going on 3 tours a day, this buggy pays for itself every day, and these operators are milking it for every dime they can. I explained that this was actually smart business, except for one small thing. The internet. I am here to implore you not to rent from these guys. And I haven't even gotten to the good parts yet. We start the vehicle. Obviously based on a VW bug vintage 1972, it sounds and feels like I imagine one of these cars might. With a few exceptions. This vehicle has been beaten mercilessly every single day of its life, and it is obvious. We started off down the road, and a few safety considerations reared their ugly heads. Number one, the gear shifter was more vague than a politician asked about past indiscretions. 1st? 2nd? Reverse? 3rd? All absolutely random in their positions. 3rd gear, for example, was defined by about a 12 inch span of area that sometimes accompanied 1st. The buggie would not hold second, popping out of gear whenever you backed off the gas, at all, grinding insanely as if you had just selected Reverse. In fact, if you weren't careful, it felt like you could easily miss 2nd and end up in Reverse. The Brakes? A mere suggestion. In fact, brake travel was so long, that it was very easy to hit the vestigial gas pedal-stump thing with your foot while you were passing by during your near infinite brake travel. On the subject, during one panic stop the vehicles have no brake lights, and the woman in front of me failed to remember to signal, probably as she was braking for dear life, I became aware that only my right front wheel locked as the buggie wildly yawed, further exposing the braking systems shortcomings. The steering also had 8 inches of play, adding to the fun.
Anyway, after driving for 15 minutes in stop and go traffic, alternatively holding the gear lever in second and holding on for dear life when braking, we got the the first stop in our journey, where we picked up fellow suckers, I mean tour-goers. At this point, they gave me an alternative buggie, and gave some other hapless soul our buggie. This one road like a veritable cadillac and shifted like a miata, until that time when the ENTIRE GEAR SHIFT BOX RIPPED FROM THE CHASSIS! Now the Tour operator, Francisco, who was a prince, btw, and a great guy Volunteered his actual VW beetle, which, my son noted, appeared to be missing many chassis bolts, any front end bushings, had a failed trans, and the seat wasn't bolted down. The welds were also broken, and the chassis was coming off the frame. Now, at this point, the sucker who got our buggie had complained enough that a spare buggie showed up, so back into Buggie 1 we went. This guy's new buggy immediately suffered an electrical failure, leaving us all stranded again. In fact, out of the four of us, no one had a working buggie!
On to the offroading. After 1 hour or so on Mexico's fine road system, we got to spend 20 minutes in an off road park. Imagine your local quarry allowing you to drive around their lot with some loose stone and broken pavement with some man made bumps in your terrifying failing buggie, hoping that the whole shebang held together, and you get the picture. But the 20 minutes was only because one of the other buggies broke, so 10 minutes was fixing it!
The Parent company should be ashamed! Out of room, but I could kee