Not only is the description of this excursion completely misleading, but the activity itself is awful and not worth wasting a chunk of money on a horrible experience.
I know everyone states that they are not a complainer/ don’t write negative reviews/ etc, but in my case it is absolute truth. I only want the company to clarify their very incorrect description of the tour and work on the various stops in order to ensure an enjoyable activity before others are as disappointed at the conclusion as our group of 7 was. We were picked up in our “air conditioned” van (which came complete with ripped vinyl seats and literal holes in the ceiling where air vents should have been). The air barely worked and then only once the van reached highway speeds. The van was crammed to capacity with 13 individuals (12 guests and tour guide). We were taken to the coffee shop for breakfast in Old San Juan, but there was no time to “take in the sights” nor was our tour guide able to provide answers to our basic questions about landmarks, statues, etc we passed on our way back to the van. Our next stop, Crash Beach, was a 2 hour drive (which is not disclosed). Our tour guide told us there would be restrooms/changing area, ample food kiosks/restaurant, and beverages available. Spoiler alert: none of that info is true. The tour guide dropped us off, said he would meet us in 2 hours, and told us to call with any problems. The beach itself (sand and water) are nice, but that is it. There is no public restroom nor changing area at the beach. One restaurant, which was not open when we got there, would not let us use their facilities despite our pleas. The employee we spoke with was quite rude and basically said to use the ocean as our restroom. I tried texting and calling our tour guide, but got no response. He did call back later (after I’d given up and put my phone away in order to try and at least enjoy the beach). When questioned, he stated that he stepped away from his phone to use the restroom. Really? And where might he have found one? Food kiosks were either not open or only sold alcoholic beverages, smoothies, or octopus on a stick. The restaurant finally opened, and one couple from our group ate there because they could not use the restroom unless they bought food. After making a “towel tent” in a gazebo reeking of urine to get out of wet clothes, we all piled back into the van. After we all complained about the lack of facilities at the beach, our tour guide was kind enough to stop at Subway so we could use the restroom and grab a bite to eat. He acted surprised like no one had ever experienced a problem prior to our visit. I have since read reviews of Crash Beach, and our complaints are very common ones. The next portion of the trip is another 1 1/2 hour drive to the lighthouse. The lighthouse is at the southern most tip of the island with amazing views, and we spent a few moments taking pictures. Then we all piled back into the van for another hour of travel to Parguera for dinner and the bioluminescent bay tour. For those keeping count, that’s 4 1/2 hours of driving in less than comfortable transportation. Dinner was fine, but there’s not much else going on in the small town. After eating, we had about 1 1/2 hours to kill before boarding the boat for the bio bay. The bio bay tour was less than impressive (not the tour operator’s fault). Also, pictures are not allowed on this tour. Another incidence of false information in tour description. After the bio bay tour which lasted about 45 minutes, we got back into the van for another 2 hour ride back to San Juan. That’s a grand total of 6 1/2 hours driving time for three attractions I understand we covered a lot of ground across much of the island, but the amount of driving time should be disclosed in the tour description. The amount of time spent in the van versus time at attractions is not worth the investment. My final complaint is that both bottled water and snacks are listed as included in the tour description. These would have been a great relief after the awful experience of being dumped at Crash Beach. The description clearly states “included”. If you aren’t going to provide a service that’s fine, but DO NOT include it in your description. It is false advertising. Of all the excursions we have been on over 15 years, this is by far the worst we have ever experienced. I took a chance and gambled on what appears to be a new tour for this company and wound up sorely disappointed. If we had not paid so far in advance, I would have tried to stop payment on my credit card. Yes, the tour is that awful. Any company that would literally dump 12 unsuspecting guests on a beach without restroom facilities, water, or adequate places to get food should be called out so others do not waste their money.